Link 11 Sep 9,401 notes Were I Not Frail and Half Broken Inside»


Were I not frail and half broken inside,
I wouldn’t be thinking of them, who are, like me, half broken inside.
I would not climb the cemetery hill by the church
To get rid of my self pity.
Crazy Sophies,
Michaels who lost every battle,
Self-destructive Agathas
Lie under crosses with their dates of birth and death. And who
Is going to express them? Their mumblings, weepings, hopes, tears of humiliation?
In hospital muck and the smell of urine,
With their weak and contorted limbs,
And eternity close by. Improper. Indecent.
Like a dollhouse crushed by wheels, like
An elephant trampling a beetle, an ocean drowning an island.
Our stupidity and childishness do nothing to fit us
For this variety of last things.
They had no time to grasp anything of their individual lives,
Any principium individuationis.
Nor do I grasp it, yet what can I do?
Enclosed all my life in a nutshell,
Trying in vain to become something
Completely different from what I was.

Thus we go down into the earth, my fellow parishioners,
With the hope that the trumpet of judgment will call us by our names.
Instead of eternity, greenness and the movement of clouds.
They rise then, thousands of Sophies, Michaels, Matthews,
Marias, Agathas, Bartholomews.
So at last they know why
And for what reason?

–Czeslaw Milosz

Photo 5 Sep NEEDTOBREATHE (at Bayou Music Center)

NEEDTOBREATHE (at Bayou Music Center)

Video 19 Aug 545,919 notes



the satisfaction

One time in like 5th grade I had this teacher and she gave us all bottles of shit like this and told us to squeeze it all out and of course we were like fuck yeah and did it and then she said, “Now, try and shove it all back in the container.” Of course we all tried, and then stared at her confused as shit. When we all obviously gave up, she said, “In the moment, you were so consumed with what you were doing that you didn’t realize the mess you were making. Then, after it was so quickly and easily poured out, you realize it is impossible to put it all back in. Remember this for the rest of your lives when it comes to the words that come out of your mouth” and we were like 10 so we were like yeah ok whatever lady, but somehow to this day I think of it constantly. 

(Source: officialkirstie)

via .
Photo 11 Aug Work in progress.

Work in progress.

Text 10 Aug 1 note

It feels good to have some time to myself for a while. Not that I don’t love the company I’ve kept lately, but some time to let my mind cool off, take care of a few chores I find calming (like polishing my shoes and ironing my shirts), practice some new songs on the guitar, and research some projects. (To do: find set up stereo for phonograph)

I haven’t been myself lately, and this was just what I needed. Time is expensive, especially for an introvert. I need to take care that it is spent where it counts the most.

No matter how much I enjoy being with people, I think I will always love my alone time.

Photo 20 Jul Back home in Dallas. I sure enjoyed this. #BMWCape  (at Cape Cod)

Back home in Dallas. I sure enjoyed this. #BMWCape (at Cape Cod)

Photo 17 Jul Dinner with #BMWCape (at Sesuit Harbor Cafe)

Dinner with #BMWCape (at Sesuit Harbor Cafe)

Photo 4 Jul I dun goofed.

I dun goofed.

Photo 17 May Pearl Farmer’s Market in San Antonio

Pearl Farmer’s Market in San Antonio

Photo 12 May Oh, Texas.

Oh, Texas.

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